


walks in beauty

by FantasySwap



Series: wake me up beside you [2]
Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Gore, Miscommunication, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 06:48:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasySwap/pseuds/FantasySwap
Summary: He would have described romance as roses, homemade dinners and cuddling under blankets. Not sneaky handjobs in freezer rooms, vending machine crap for dinner and being spooned from behind whilst desperately trying to avoid Nathan’s wank sock being shoved in his face. So yeah, it’s not the relationship that Simon would have thought he’d end up having.





	walks in beauty

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out! Hope you enjoy

Simon has never really been one for relationships. Of course by that he means he’s never had a relationship because everybody at school always thought he was a psychotic freak, but that’s not important. If somebody had asked thirteen year old Simon what he thought his first relationship would be like, he’s pretty sure he would have described the total opposite to this.

 

He would have described romance as roses, homemade dinners and cuddling under blankets. Not sneaky handjobs in freezer rooms, vending machine crap for dinner and being spooned from behind whilst desperately trying to avoid Nathan’s wank sock being shoved in his face. So yeah, it’s not the relationship that Simon would have thought he’d end up having.

 

That’s to assume it even _is_ a relationship, of course, because with Nathan you can never tell. They’ve been doing this for a few weeks now - sneaking around, stealing kisses where they can, avoiding Kelly’s curious gaze whenever they’re around her - and things have been good. Nathan still teases him, Simon still rolls his eyes at Nathan’s antics, but they hardly ever argue about important things and Simon is getting more action that he’s ever got before.

 

So what if he’d like an actual bed to sleep on for once? It doesn’t really matter if Nathan never holds his hand in public or bothers to introduce Simon to his mother. They’re happy, and that’s all that matters.

 

Except, okay, so maybe it isn’t. Maybe Simon wants more, wants things that he can never ask Nathan for because the man will laugh in his face and mock him relentlessly for weeks afterwards. Maybe Simon would happily suck Nathan off if Nathan called him, ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart’ or something equally sappy and romantic. These are the things he vows never to say to Nathan, and, somewhat successfully, he never says them.

 

***

 

Community service, whilst really fucking boring, has had a few benefits for Simon. For a start, Nathan. That’s all that needs to be said really, because Nathan is his own explanation and Simon loves him for it. Not loves as in _loves_ , of course. Just, y’know, loves.

 

Then there’s Kelly. Nathan, Curtis and Alisha piss off as soon as Shaun leaves them with a bucket of water and a wall to clean, but Kelly nudges Simon’s shoulder playfully and jerks her head towards the opposite end.

 

They scrub in silence for a while, each of them content to listen to Simon’s thoughts. He’s hardly even aware that his mind has drifted back to Nathan - though it isn’t particularly surprising: washing graffiti off the side of a building is kind of a repetitive, mindless activity and Simon is hardly ever thinking about anything other than Nathan - when Kelly turns to him and drops her brush back into the water with a splashing sound.

 

“You are allowed to ask for things, y’know.” She tells him sincerely, confusing Simon.

 

“Uh… yes?” He replies, eyes darting between her and the task at hand. He fights the urge to pat his hair down, his usual nervous tell, if only because his hands are wet and he doesn’t want to have dirty water on his head.

 

“I mean with Nathan, idiot. It doesn’t have to just be about what he wants all the time.” Simon flushes hot pink, not even able to find it in himself to be annoyed at Kelly for prying. He knows shecan’t always control what she hears just like he can’t always control when he turns invisible, and whilst it is a bit of a different issue he’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

“How very gracious of you.” She snorts, raising an eyebrow at his thoughts. “Seriously though. You get me?”

 

Simon nods in order to get this painfully awkward conversation over with faster, and even though Kelly must hear this thought too she, thankfully, doesn’t comment on it. Because here’s the thing: what Nathan wants is for them to keep screwing around and sleeping in the same bed (mattress) at night and eat dinner together and that’s it. What Simon wants is for them to do all those same things, but as boyfriends— and really, that label shouldn’t seem as fucking ridiculous as it does. These two courses are mutually exclusive, and if Simon tries to come to Nathan with talk about boyfriends and relationships and monogamy, Nathan is going to run for the hills.

 

So they kind of do have to do whatever Nathan wants all the time, because between doing what Nathan wants and doing nothing, Simon knows which option he’d choose every time.

 

He doesn’t voice any of this but he knows Kelly hears it all, and she sighs as though she’s disappointed with Simon’s train of thought. Either way he doesn’t have time to wonder about it, because suddenly there’s a pair of wet hands clapped over his eyes.

 

Simon rears back, surprised, and collides with something hard and long and skinny and— laughing.

 

“Oh man, this water is _gross_.” Nathan giggles, wiping his wet hands off on Simon’s orange jumpsuit and pouting when he sees the unhappy look on Simon’s face. “Oh c’mon! There’s nothing wrong with getting a little wet.”

 

He directs a wink at Kelly as he says this and she rolls her eyes, smiling.

 

“Jesus, it’s hot out here.” Nathan continues, complaining, even though there’s still a light breeze on the air. “I’m gonna go… cool down.” Simon’s head snaps up, eyes meeting Nathan’s. Okay, that must be the signal for the freezer room then, the signal that Nathan wants to fool around. Sure enough, Kelly scoffs and wrinkles her nose in disgust.

 

Simon watches Nathan disappear inside, waits five minutes and then makes up some excuse about getting a drink. By the time he gets to the freezer room Nathan is already sitting up on the window sill, stroking himself through the jumpsuit.

 

“Oh thank fuck it was you.” Nathan groans melodramatically when he comes in. “I swear to god, you took so long I woulda propositioned the next person to walk through that door.”

 

Simon’s heart pangs a little uncomfortably at this, unsure as to whether Nathan is being serious or not, but he forces himself to forget it as he surges forward and covers Nathan’s lips with his own. Nathan pants into his mouth, reaching for Simon’s dick through the fabric straight away. He finds it successfully the first time - a grand feat for Nathan - and squeezes so perfectly that Simon stumbles into him, knocking them both backwards until Nathan is pressed right up against the window and Simon is standing between his spread legs.

 

“Christ,” Nathan breathes against Simon’s lips, hands scrabbling at the zip of the jumpsuit. “I wish this was a little fucking easier to get off, it might even be sexy.” Nathan slides to his knees easily - something that surprised Simon a lot at first was that, even though they haven’t gotten that far yet - Nathan is a total fucking bottom - and waits for Simon to pull his jumpsuit the rest of the way down. He groans when Simon hesitates.

 

“Come on, we don’t have all day. I know you wanna piss on my tits and all, but I’m not that kinky and I don’t want Shaun finding us.” The thought does actually make Simon shiver a little— Shaun seeing them, that is, because the other prospect is not something he wants to figure out right now.

 

“Wait, wait.” He mumbles, capturing Nathan’s hands and holding them still when they try to settle over his hips. “Do you wanna do this later?”

 

Okay, he acknowledges that it’s not the best thing he could have said, but he’s also too scared to say what he actually means. He’d love to invite Nathan round for a romantic dinner or something equally sappy - as long as his parents don’t find out he’s been jerking their visitor off pretty much every day - but he has a feeling Nathan won’t be particularly into that.

 

“No,” Nathan giggles a little like the idea is ridiculous. “That’s why I’m here now, duh.”

 

When he goes back to squeezing Simon’s dick through the fabric, his resolve almost weakens. He’s love nothing more than to get his cock sucked right now, wind his hands through Nathan’s curly hair and just lose himself in it, but Kelly’s words keep knocking around in his head and he can’t help but wonder: what if she’s right?

 

“I mean,” he pants, cupping Nathan’s cheek in his hand. “Wouldn’t you want to do this with… an actual bed?”

 

Nathan sits back on his heels, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips, but Simon can tell from the set of his jaw that he’s getting annoyed. He pushes himself to his feet and takes a few steps away from Simon - and, ow, that hurts - only to cross his arms over his chest.

 

“No, Simon, what I _want_ is to suck your dick. Why is that such a problem?” He asks.

 

Simon hurries to zip his jumpsuit up again, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable now that Nathan is no longer on his knees in front of him. He maybe hadn’t thought this far ahead, about what would happen if he actually got Nathan to listen to him, and he can feel the natural urge to blurt out his first thought creeping up on him like a panic attack.

 

“Because maybe I don’t want this relationship to consist solely of us jerking each other off during community service!” He exclaims, arms flailing wildly until he’s able to get them under control again and keep them securely at his side. In all honesty he hadn’t thought that what he just said was so bad, but when he catches sight of Nathan’s face he thinks he may have to reconsider.

 

Even though Nathan’s eyes are narrowed they still look suspiciously damp, and he looks away when he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down silently. He uncrosses his arms and in that moment he looks so sweet, so insecure, that Simon just wants to hug him.

 

Then Simon blinks and the moment is over, and there’s the Nathan he knows standing in front of him again: smirk plastered in place, confidence back where it should be.

 

“Relationship?” He raises an eyebrow. “Rather presumptuous of you, don’t you think Barry?” Then he’s turning and letting his feet carry him out of the room; Simon is left alone in the freezer room with his clothes half unzipped, his dick half hard and his heart a little broken.

 

——

 

As usual, things don’t stay quiet for long. It always seems to be Nathan that attracts trouble, but in this case Simon thinks maybe just by being in his orbit the danger comes to all of them. They’re sitting side by side on the roof of the community centre: Curtis and Alisha are off somewhere - probably wanking each other off, as Nathan loudly points out - whilst Kelly and Nathan are dangling their legs off the edge of the roof and whispering into each other’s ears. Nathan leans over to murmur something and catches Simon’s eye, who is clearly watching them shamelessly. Nathan grins meanly.

 

Okay, so Nathan is clearly still pissed at him.

 

Simon is just conjuring the nerve to go over there and confront him - because as much as it makes him want to curl up and die it also makes him shake with repressed anger - when there’s a loud crash from the street below and a cut off scream. Nathan and Kelly both sit bolt upright and exchange nervous glances: Nathan even spares a look back at Simon, but when he sees Simon is staring back at him he scowls and looks away.

 

“Something’s happening,” Kelly provides anxiously, getting the look of concentration she gets whenever she’s trying to focus her power. “Someone’s got a gun. Shit, we should get inside.”

 

Nathan and Kelly both move to stand up but Simon stops them with a confused look. “No! We should— we should help them!”

 

Nathan groans and brushes past him easily, and whilst the rejection is going to hurt like a bitch when this is all over, they have bigger issues to deal with right now. Kelly, who obviously hears all this, chooses to say nothing.

 

“We have powers!” Simon continues, trying not to pat down his hair like he always does when he’s stressed. “This is a chance to actually use them to help people. Come on!”

 

For a moment he really thinks they’re going to agree with him, that they’ll nod and pat him on the back and then they can all walk down to the ground together. As a team. Then Kelly is shaking her head with a guilty expression and Nathan is snorting.

 

“Sure, whatever.” He says dismissively. “If you want to risk your life trying to be a superhero then have at it, but we’re going inside.”

 

Once again, Simon is left on the roof of the community centre utterly alone with no idea what to do. All he knows is that they were given powers for a reason - even if he has to create that reason himself - and he’s not going to let people get hurt when he could have easily prevented it.

 

He’s hurtling down the stairs before he can talk himself out of it, ignoring the cries of his name from behind him and not thinking about the possibility that Nathan might actually be worried about him. Out on the street a crowd has gathered to watch a middle aged man with greying hair wave a gun in the air and shout things that Simon can’t hear over the pounding of his blood in his ears.

 

Simon has got a good enough grip of his powers by now to be able to activate them when he wants. Granted it’s not exactly like flicking on a switch - more like tuning a TV: the signal flickers in and out sometimes but he can mostly decide when it happens - so it’s easy to creep up behind the man without being noticed.

 

There’s not much he can do from there, though; he needs to get in front of him or at least beside him without making any noise if he wants to get the gun out of his hands without risking the lives of any bystanders. Good thing Simon is good at being quiet when he wants.

 

He’ll never really get used to this, he thinks as he stands in front of the man, gone totally unseen by everyone else. It’s almost a power-rush, but not quite: it’s something different, something darker, a part of himself that he wishes wasn’t there. He could do anything right now and no one would know it was him.

 

But then there’s movement behind him, the man’s gaze sharpens and fixes on something straight through his chest. It all seems to happen in slow motion, as cliched as that is. The man screams something right into Simon’s face, his powers flicker and suddenly he’s really there, completely visible and standing right in front of a gun wielding maniac.

 

He can hear police sirens in the distance, but he knows they’ll be too late. He can hear people screaming as well - almost sounds like someone screaming his name - but he’s too frozen in fear to look over. He’s going to get shot. He closes his eyes and braces himself for the pain he _knows_ he’s about to experience, and then—

 

Then he’s being shoved to the side, falling onto the ground sideways with no time to catch his fall, and the sound of a bullet being fired echoes around the streets. There’s a high pitched scream from a voice Simon would recognise anywhere: Kelly.

 

His head is still ringing a little bit and he’s going to have the mother of all bruises on his elbow by tomorrow, but when he looks up the shooter is down on the ground with a few people from the crowd surrounding him, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to be able to get up any time soon. Simon finds Kelly easily, picks her out of the crowd almost instantly, and follows her horrified gaze.

 

And it’s Nathan. Of course it is, because Nathan is always exactly where you don’t want him to be. Right now he’s lying on the floor in the exactly spot that Simon would have been a few seconds ago, staring up vacantly at the sky.

 

Blood is pooling on the ground from the bullet wound in his chest.

 

“No,” Simon whispers, heart stopping. “No, no, _no_. Nathan!”

 

Simon can only crawl towards him, hunch over his body and let his hands flutter uselessly over the wound that’s still bleeding, seeping dark red through his shirt. He’s still awake - still conscious, still _alive_ \- so that when Simon’s face comes into view his eyes flat towards it lazily, and a weak smile spreads over his face.

 

“Hey,” He whispers, voice hoarse. “Relax.”

 

“I’m—” Sorry, he wants to say. “What were you thinking?”

 

“I was thinking that I could come back from a bullet, idiot.” Nathan rolls his eyes as best he can. “You couldn’t.”

 

And Simon knows that’s the truth; he knows that if Nathan dies he’s only going to wake up again in an hour or two, perfectly unharmed, and laugh at them both for being so worried. But kneeling here in the dirt, cradling Nathan’s head in his lap as blood drips from the corner of his mouth and his life slowly fades away, it feels a whole fucking lot like Simon’s losing him for good.

 

“Come on,” Kelly says eventually, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “We need to get him inside before people start paying attention. We need to get him somewhere he can… y’know.”

 

Simon nods, brushing the tears off his cheeks angrily even though he knows Kelly can hear his pain anyway. They each take a side, Simon supporting his shoulders and Kelly taking his feet carefully as they try to carry him into the community centre without attracting much attention. The people that did see Nathan get shot will be too shaken up to press the matter, and if the body in question is in fact alive then there’s no proof.

 

“You go home,” Simon sighs as soon as they’re inside, Nathan laying motionless on his own mattress. “I’ll look after him, text you when he wakes up. Okay?”

 

Kelly nods and smiles sympathetically, if only because she doesn’t want to argue with a crying Simon right now. She leaves without another word and Simon doesn’t watch her go because he’s too busy watching Nathan, watching the way he looks almost happy, a half smile tugging at his lips even in death.

 

Simon wants to kiss him, but he’s not sure where kissing your temporarily dead maybe-boyfriend falls on the consent scale so he keeps his mouth to himself.

 

He’s not sure when he falls asleep but suddenly he’s blinking his eyes open again, a warm hand sliding into his, and when he looks up Nathan is watching him: bleary eyed and still sporting dried blood by his mouth, but smiling and very much alive.

 

“Barry!” He exclaims, though his voice is still a little weak. “Were you crying over me?”

 

Simon, now that it feels like he can actually breathe again, inhales. Then, “What the fuck were you thinking? Why would you do that?”

 

The smile falls from Nathan’s face and morphs into something a little less cocksure, a little more guilty. He doesn’t remove his hand from Simon’s though - if anything he curls his fingers tighter - so that’s got to count for something.

 

“I’m sorry, okay?” He says, sounding less than pleased about it. “I just— I saw you there, with that asshole pointing his gun at you, and I thought about our fight, and about what my last words to you would have been and I just… I couldn’t. I couldn’t just let you die, Simon. And next thing I know I’m being shot and it hurts like hell but it’s okay because you’re safe and I—”

 

Simon kisses him, kisses the apology from his lips and when he tastes tears on his tongue he doesn’t know if they’re his own or Nathan’s. He wants to tell Nathan to never do that again, never scare him like that again, but he can only press closer and hold him tight until he’s practically on top of the other boy.

 

“Ouch,” Nathan winces, and only then does Simon realise he’s been putting pressure on Nathan’s injury.

 

“Shit, sorry.” He hurries to say, holding himself up. “Do you want something to eat, or to drink? What do you usually do?”

 

Nathan just sighs and smiles, slips his hand into Simon’s again and tugs the boy down next to him. Simon curls an arm over his stomach carefully and hooks his chin over Nathan’s shoulder; he’s so warm, so alive, and Simon wants to savour the moment forever.

 

“Right now,” Nathan breathes. “I just want to sleep. Stay with me tonight?”

 

“Always,” Simon replies, and smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! <3


End file.
